“I want to apologize to myself for constantly submerging in a state of panic, for allowing myself to self-destruct for so many years.
There is a person inside of me who deserves kindness.” —Brianna Pastor
I recently came across the quote mentioned above, I felt that I can so much relate to that I should write an apology letter to myself. I am sure that If a person stuck on past failed attempts, how can you be successful at the opportunity awaiting in front of you? I was doing exactly doing the same. I use to wallow days and days together in self pity indulging self-destructive behaviour.
I apologize for comparing myself, such as when I used dwell on the past mistakes and choices. Looking back, If I were on the receiving end of what I said, It had more recurring effect on me. I now understand that my behavior was destructive, It affected my self dignity a lot. In the future, I will instead avoid doing such comparative behaviour.
I am apologize for blocking too much happiness because I’m too afraid that I have to pay the price of being miserable at the end of the day. For looking at my batchmates and feeling I didn’t measure up to their success, and ultimately for not believing that I am perfect the way, I am. I was angry because the way things went against me for no fault of mine, and I had to watch it helplessly. I was so angry, I killed the good parts of me. And I am not sure, If I can resurrect the old good guy inside of me. I apology myself for blaming myself when bad things happened.
I am trying to be the same guy again. I am not sure how sure I can be successful in this attempt. I don’t know If I can still find some part of me somewhere deep inside. I know that I am beautiful and miraculous and capable of doing things. I understand that I am unique and have so many characteristics about myself that everyone will do. I know this because I understand myself a lot more better.
What I have learn is that good and bad things happen to everyone. I used to think that bad things always happen only to me, just me so that I don’t be happy. But as they say, all things end. May be, I should also believe that everything happen for a reason. I will not mark my life anymore with bad things and people around me anymore.
I am must write this letter so that I can apologize myself , and start fresh.