We live in a social life, where everyone is expected to socialise with others. My whole life I have been told by my parents why I don’t socialise, talk or say anything whenever someone visits our house. My family forced me to socialise with my relatives, family friends and neighbours and made believe that’s what I am supposed to do.
Then one day, I moved out of the protective environment of my hometown to another city for higher studies. I ended up being alone for a long time, unable to connect and find the right kind of people. I mostly ended up with assholes so I decided to stick onto myself. I never thought that I could be as happy as I was while I was alone.
In our world, a majority of the people consists of the social people over loners, media and TV shows have equated us with mentally ill, psychopaths and serial killers, And we loners feel an immense pressure within us to change ourselves all the time. So let me ask what’s wrong with being a loner?
We are all told that we need to step out and interact with people in meaningful ways all the time. That’s a lie. It’s a lie that everyone has to be social, interactive and around a group of people all the time. We have been so much ingrained to believe this thing that we refuse to believe that a person can be happy being alone. It’s not something everyone can do, while most people won’t be happy being alone, some will and the ones that will are being told that they won’t. The upshot is that “alone” doesn’t bother me much. But, then, there are two types of solitude – voluntary and enforced, the latter being a killer.
I sometimes think of myself as a natural loner, though, in my case, this could just be a cover for being a soft spoken, shy or may be the inability to make the connections in their frequency. I got bullied when I changed the school from Kendriya Vidyalaya to a state syllabus for their inability to match up with me, and again several times during degree and post graduation for the same reason. I decided that I would rather be a loner than being around with these kinds of people pouring so much negativity, and harming my self-respect and worth.
Personally, I feel pity for the people who can’t even for a second bear time with themselves. What’s wrong with them? If they can’t tolerate their own company, what are they trying to hide from others? In the end, you are the one who will determine how you feel about things around you and yourself. Unfortunately, many loners have a problem in being themselves. They can’t be blamed for that, they are not accustomed to being alone.
I love hanging around in restaurants and movie halls on alone without anyone being accompanied, and often seen people around me looking down upon me for being a lonely loser for my inability to find friends over my choice to be happy in my own company.
As a loner, I used to hate reading the over glorified Facebook post on everyone trying hard to show how social able their life sounded. I am sure that no one wanted to be left out, as we call it FOMO (Fear of missing out). People often trying so hard to show their colourful social life is most often the lonely ones, we could come across.
All I have to say is that there is nothing wrong with being on your own. If being alone makes you happy, it is beneficial to accept that and build your life around it than struggling so much hard to portray your colourful life on social media. Get rid of your FOMO. The truth is that being a loner is a preference just like everything else.